👋 Hello friend
Over the last few months, I have been collecting information about perfectionism that resonated with me.
My perfectionist nature stopped me from sending it 4 months ago.
👨🎓 I am willing to share my large collection of expert advice, recent studies, and blog posts on Perfectionism
“Healthy striving is self-focused — How can I improve?
Perfectionism is other-focused — What will they think?“ - Brene Brown
Living with perfectionism means always seeking approval from others. Instead of being authentic, we strive to be “enough”.
🐛❤️🩹 Cause and Consequence of Perfectionism
Alexandra Michel, a former Goldman associate, followed a cohort of 24 first-year bankers over a decade to 2012.
Michel found that they entered a cycle of physical deterioration after working 80-120 hour weeks that by the fourth year led to:
- suffering from autoimmune diseases,
- heart palpitations,
- hair loss,
- and rage.
❗ The working ethos that led to this was entirely self-generated.
Students joined banks with a pre-programmed tendency towards overwork; banks ran with it.
⚖️ A Short Story on How Perfectionists Should Make Decisions
General Schwartzkopf once decided within minutes which had been held off for over 10 years.
"For 10 years they've talked about it, going back and forth. The best minds have been on it, and they can't decide one way or the other, so you know what? We need to pick one and do it."
So I just did.
"Because I believe that now all the best people are going to go to work on it, and they'll either make it work or they won't. They'll see it's not working, and we'll change directions, and we'll do what's right, but what's happened right now is a logjam of nothingness."
Decisions are power, and I'm here to make them. That's what I'm in position for. That's what I'm a leader for.
There are two options when facing a decision:
Option #1: Remain paralyzed in indecision.
Option #2: Make a decision and monitor to see if you need to shift your approach.
🧞♂️ Perfectionist's Expectations
Perfectionist's expectations aren't high.
Perfectionists' expectations are unrealistic. They can't be met.
Perfectionists work excessively, creating a cycle that may result in burnout.
Perfectionism helps us feel in control.
Perfectionism is a defense mechanism.
🙇♂️ Perfectionism is a learned behavior which can be relearned.
Although the tendency toward perfectionism can be inherited, it is often a learned behavior.
Growing up in an environment where mistakes were punished may strive for perfectionism as an adult.
🗿 Perfectionism Paralysis
Maybe you think that someone with perfectionism never misses a deadline. In reality, this is not the case.
Perfectionists may delay or ignore a task rather than risk doing it poorly.
👨🏫 Yale professor, Bill Deresiewicz, author of the New York Times Bestseller "Excellent Sheep" - Advice on Perfectionism
Deresiewicz's answer on how to deal with perfectionism:
- and perspective
He advises students to look outside their bubble and expand their group of friends.
Practical examples of How to deal with Perfectionism
- Taking a gap year
- Taking some time off
- Hanging out with friends who aren't trapped by the same expectations
- Take your attention off your fears. The more you think of the task, the more overwhelming it becomes.
- Remember that the first 20% of your effort on a task will yield 80% of the results. Obsessing over details for hours isn't the best use of your time.
🔋 Personal Energy Management: Our Ability To Produce is Limited
One of the reasons we can’t meet high expectations is because we all have a limited ability to produce. Acknowledging our limitations is critical to kicking the perfectionist habit. - personalexcellence.co