😣 Setbacks and How to Handle them
👋 Hello friend,
We all experience setbacks in our lives.
Often we hold ourselves back. Thinking about what we should have said, not said, or done differently in the past.
That's fine. However, it becomes difficult when we spend a whole day, a week, or even a month ruminating about it. It's not fair to us, and it's not fair to our fellow friends, family, and others.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”- G. Michael Hopf, Those Who Remain
What can we do about it? I got to the bottom of this question and came up with a (for me) more than suitable solution. To be honest, I am more than satisfied with it. **Shoulder pat
📝 WRITE DOWN QUESTIONS. WRITE DOWN MANY QUESTIONS.
Let it flow. Hammer it into your keyboard.
Take a Word document and write down helpful questions for yourself.
The trick is to make them helpful for you.
So let's take an example.
Is the following question helpful for you?
Why do I feel so bad? Why did I do so badly again? Why did I say that? Why am I such a failure?
Now your brain is looking for answers the next few minutes: "Because I'm stupid. Because I can't do it. Because I have it in my genes ..."
Hmm, not so helpful, is it? Congratulations. This is how you successfully create a feeling of helplessness, guilt, and doubt.
How do you do it instead?
🌞 Have empowering questions ready that you can ask yourself.
I myself have an Excel file in which I write down good questions. When I think of a good question, I capture it immediately within the spreadsheet.
Then, when I realize that I'm slipping into a pit, I take out the spreadsheet and read them out loud to myself.
🔰 Here are a few questions I once put together in a one-hour "rage".
It's amazing what a few questions can do. I promise that it will shift your perspective within a few seconds.
- What can I take away as a positive from it?
- What have I learned from this?
- What does the situation want to tell me that I might not admit to myself?
- Why will it make me better able to handle future situations?
- What is the point in me continuing to get upset about it?
- What can I do very well?
- What were situations in the past that I handled great when I was in a similar situation?
- What are the strengths that are all in me?
- What makes me stand out?
- Why am I so much more than this one little situation?
- What makes me different? What makes me different as a person?
- What is this tingly warm feeling in my body telling me that just has to come out?
- Anyone can be good and stay good. The real challenge is to grow out of a crisis and become excellent.
- What will I treat myself to today?
- Why do I love myself?
- What other questions can I ask myself that will do me good?
- What can I be proud of?
- What great things will I still create, and experience? What great people will I meet?
- Where will I travel? What breathtaking experiences will I have? How will I react to them? Full of joy? Excitement?
- What empowering incantations can I tell myself?
"I am unique. No one can stop me.
I am (strong and powerful nickname). I am (strong and powerful nickname)."
Why do you give your pet a name? When you give something a name, it comes when you freaking call it.
Get certain. This is only the beginning.
As "weird" as this may sound to some people, this approach to deal with setbacks really helps. 🙂
💥 The Greatest Story is the comeback story.
Movie #1: There is this movie where the main character feels really great and has a great life. In the beginning, everything is great. In the middle of the movie, he has all these great experiences. Then, in the end, everything is fine and the movie ends with him being great. The End.
Would you watch this movie? I certainly wouldn't.
Movie #2: What about a movie that starts with a man who is doing reasonably well. Suddenly there's a stroke of fate and it goes down the drain. You see him working on himself, making smart decisions, being curious and strong towards the middle of the movie.
Making the leap. Finally, he learns more from his mistakes than anyone else and develops a bite, ambition, and stamina that makes his goals become reality.
🌊 Life is about ups and downs, that's what makes it exciting.
Have a great week!
xx Lukas 🍀